I've discovered MySpace Karaoke...

...and I suck at it. Rock Band, however, I usually do pretty okay with. It's probably because Rock Band tells you what your pitch is, and with MySpace Karaoke you just kind of do your own thing.

One of the interesting things about spasmodic dysphonia for me is that it does not seem to affect my singing too much. However, I overcompensated for my voice cutting out so much, and I became soft-spoken. My friend Julie says that was one of the things she always noted as a trait, though, so I guess I became worse? After having many years in chorus, I can say that it a powerful voice is more suited for singing than a whispery one. Even in chorus I had to project more, so I can imagine the field day my instructor would have with me now.

I used to be okay at singing. I wasn't one of those types that got into jazz choir (we had Swazz at school--swing+jazz), and I was really too shy to really do much in the way of auditioning. If we had a final, I usually took the option to write the essay instead of going for a solo. My voice had been described as "sweet" but it wasn't really anything that would get me anywhere.

Up until recently, I would not sing in front of my husband. I would sing to my kids, but not in front of him. Then we got Rock Band for the Wii. Prior to that my husband had gotten the American Idol karaoke games, and he was always confused at how I could get platinums, and even diamonds, on many of the songs on there--all while he wasn't home. So, a couple of months ago, I sucked it up and sang in front of him while he played the guitar on Rock Band. He thought I was good. Now, I don't think I'm good, but tolerable. At least, I don't make any of my cats yowl in agony. But it meant something that my husband said I was good and he wasn't being sarcastic. This, coming from the guy who said that the thing that he first noticed about me was my voice and what I had to say (prior to getting SD), made me feel a little gushy.

I've considered taking singing lessons when I actually have a disposable income again. I need to build up the power behind my voice. When I can' t hear myself talk over my toddler, I think I need to do something about it. I don't expect to ever get back the range I used to have, but I would expect that maybe I could project better. Projection was something that was focused on with my speech therapist a couple of years back, and I realize that's something I need to work on again.