Interestingly enough, my voice has been good for weeks now. Of course, now that I've said that, I noticed that my throat has tightened up a bit today, but I haven't spoken with anyone yet this morning to verify that it's worse again. The mornings are usually a quiet time, as I am often working before my children wake up, and my husband is either at work (he will often leave before I get out of bed) or he is sleeping.
I had a friend coming over more often lately, and she had commented the other day that my voice is the best she's heard it been for years. This friend of mine I've known since sixth grade, and we've seen each other at least once a year since I got SD in 2003, spoken more often than that on the phone, and definitely a lot more than that this year because we live within four blocks of each other. However, it's still infrequent enough that it's not a daily, or even weekly thing. So, it means something if she notices it, as she's not used to hearing me every day and she takes notice of what I sound like every time.
Normally, I'll have my voice be better for a little while. Maybe it'll be good for a few days, or sometimes up to a week, but then it'll be bad for a while again. I remember, back when I was working retail, that I had a period of time where my voice was barely above a whisper for over a month.
The thing I've noticed lately is that not only have I been able to continue a conversation for well over an hour without my voice cutting out, but I've also been able to yell to someone who is in another room or upstairs. That's a huge accomplishment for me. Now, I haven't done anything different than normal, so I'm not sure what caused this to change. My voice is typically at 40-60% on a given day usually, but I'd say it's been a solid 85-90% lately with just the occasional period of my voice cutting out. My voice has been so good that I've considered doing some extra work on the side, even working with the public.
But then I thought about that. What if I would get a job on the side? When interviewing, would I even want to mention that I have SD? If I did, and I wasn't showing symptoms, then it might seem strange. But if I didn't, and then my voice did (as it would eventually) get worse while on the job, then that could make me look bad for not mentioning something earlier.
I'll probably just look for another job from home or one that doesn't involve much talking :).
Sure enough, my toddler just came down the stairs, and as I was speaking with her, there my voice cut out with, "yes, of course you'll be getting lunch today." Ah well. It was nice when it lasted!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I've discovered MySpace Karaoke...
...and I suck at it. Rock Band, however, I usually do pretty okay with. It's probably because Rock Band tells you what your pitch is, and with MySpace Karaoke you just kind of do your own thing.
One of the interesting things about spasmodic dysphonia for me is that it does not seem to affect my singing too much. However, I overcompensated for my voice cutting out so much, and I became soft-spoken. My friend Julie says that was one of the things she always noted as a trait, though, so I guess I became worse? After having many years in chorus, I can say that it a powerful voice is more suited for singing than a whispery one. Even in chorus I had to project more, so I can imagine the field day my instructor would have with me now.
I used to be okay at singing. I wasn't one of those types that got into jazz choir (we had Swazz at school--swing+jazz), and I was really too shy to really do much in the way of auditioning. If we had a final, I usually took the option to write the essay instead of going for a solo. My voice had been described as "sweet" but it wasn't really anything that would get me anywhere.
Up until recently, I would not sing in front of my husband. I would sing to my kids, but not in front of him. Then we got Rock Band for the Wii. Prior to that my husband had gotten the American Idol karaoke games, and he was always confused at how I could get platinums, and even diamonds, on many of the songs on there--all while he wasn't home. So, a couple of months ago, I sucked it up and sang in front of him while he played the guitar on Rock Band. He thought I was good. Now, I don't think I'm good, but tolerable. At least, I don't make any of my cats yowl in agony. But it meant something that my husband said I was good and he wasn't being sarcastic. This, coming from the guy who said that the thing that he first noticed about me was my voice and what I had to say (prior to getting SD), made me feel a little gushy.
I've considered taking singing lessons when I actually have a disposable income again. I need to build up the power behind my voice. When I can' t hear myself talk over my toddler, I think I need to do something about it. I don't expect to ever get back the range I used to have, but I would expect that maybe I could project better. Projection was something that was focused on with my speech therapist a couple of years back, and I realize that's something I need to work on again.
One of the interesting things about spasmodic dysphonia for me is that it does not seem to affect my singing too much. However, I overcompensated for my voice cutting out so much, and I became soft-spoken. My friend Julie says that was one of the things she always noted as a trait, though, so I guess I became worse? After having many years in chorus, I can say that it a powerful voice is more suited for singing than a whispery one. Even in chorus I had to project more, so I can imagine the field day my instructor would have with me now.
I used to be okay at singing. I wasn't one of those types that got into jazz choir (we had Swazz at school--swing+jazz), and I was really too shy to really do much in the way of auditioning. If we had a final, I usually took the option to write the essay instead of going for a solo. My voice had been described as "sweet" but it wasn't really anything that would get me anywhere.
Up until recently, I would not sing in front of my husband. I would sing to my kids, but not in front of him. Then we got Rock Band for the Wii. Prior to that my husband had gotten the American Idol karaoke games, and he was always confused at how I could get platinums, and even diamonds, on many of the songs on there--all while he wasn't home. So, a couple of months ago, I sucked it up and sang in front of him while he played the guitar on Rock Band. He thought I was good. Now, I don't think I'm good, but tolerable. At least, I don't make any of my cats yowl in agony. But it meant something that my husband said I was good and he wasn't being sarcastic. This, coming from the guy who said that the thing that he first noticed about me was my voice and what I had to say (prior to getting SD), made me feel a little gushy.
I've considered taking singing lessons when I actually have a disposable income again. I need to build up the power behind my voice. When I can' t hear myself talk over my toddler, I think I need to do something about it. I don't expect to ever get back the range I used to have, but I would expect that maybe I could project better. Projection was something that was focused on with my speech therapist a couple of years back, and I realize that's something I need to work on again.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Back to your regularly scheduled program
I know it's been a while since I said this would be my next post, so here is "Therapy and How I Got a Job."
I went to go see one doctor, who officially diagnosed me with SD in March of 2006, which involved the scope and tearing up the bottom of my tongue. He did some voice therapy with me, which wasn't too extensive and not very helpful. When talking with him and doing some research online, I found out some people with SD have gotten disability and help through their state's vocational rehabilitation center. After finding that out, I set everything in motion.
When trying to get help on the state and/or federal level, things will take a long time. I applied for disability, which I was only trying to get until I could get a job. I didn't have a lot of training in anything, and I already tried retail, as I have talked about here, and it didn't really work well for me. if you can't talk, you are kind of out of luck with many jobs. The way I was trying to get a job was through training through Wisconsin's Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. Your state should have a similar thing. It's involved with the Department of Workforce Development. I had interviews both with Social Security and with a counselor at DVR. At DVR, we set up a plan. I would get training in a field I wanted to be in, and then we would set up a work plan. If I needed it, I could have gotten an amplifier for my voice. I was also to get voice therapy sessions. My plan was to get a job in medical transcription, since at the time I was mother to an almost 2-year-old and pregnant with my second, and most MT jobs can be worked from home. As these services are free to those in need (I was put on the second tier of disability, which is moderately disabled according to them), you are put on a waiting list. Those with the most severe disabilities get help first. I was told I was on a six month waiting list.
While getting help from DVR, I was turned down for disability. This was no shock, but a little disheartening. I applied again shortly after, this time with more information from a different doctor.
In the fall of 2006, I went to a more specialized clinic for SD. Even though these doctors had more experience than my prior one, I was still only the second case or so that they ever had of someone with the abductor type. I was also one of the youngest. My doctor said that the youngest he ever had with SD was 17 or so, I think, and at that time I was 25.
My new doctor was much more beneficial than my last one. The voice exercises worked better for me. It was determined that I had a mild case of SD, and with minimal voice exercising I was able to get it to almost a normal speaking level. This was, of course, when I pushed myself to stop talking in a softer tone. I don't know what happened, and apparently it was subconscious, but over the time I've had SD I've become softspoken, probably to minimize the voice breaking out. You can hear how soft I am in my videos.
Late summer I also I got off the waiting list with DVR. My wait was more like five months instead of six. I was able to get training for medical transcription through a local college, both at the campus and online. This was the best thing for me since I had the toddler and was pregnant. I had to take a break from school because I had the baby in December. However, I did graduate in March, which was ahead of schedule.
I was once again turned down for disability. Once again, no surprise there.
After I finished school, I started applying places. The problem with medical transcription is that everyone wants experience. I didn't have that yet. So, I was able to get help through a job placement specialist. She got me work experience at a local hospital. After a few months there, my boss suggested I work for a company that does work for that hospital, and I've been there since October of 2007.
I went to go see one doctor, who officially diagnosed me with SD in March of 2006, which involved the scope and tearing up the bottom of my tongue. He did some voice therapy with me, which wasn't too extensive and not very helpful. When talking with him and doing some research online, I found out some people with SD have gotten disability and help through their state's vocational rehabilitation center. After finding that out, I set everything in motion.
When trying to get help on the state and/or federal level, things will take a long time. I applied for disability, which I was only trying to get until I could get a job. I didn't have a lot of training in anything, and I already tried retail, as I have talked about here, and it didn't really work well for me. if you can't talk, you are kind of out of luck with many jobs. The way I was trying to get a job was through training through Wisconsin's Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. Your state should have a similar thing. It's involved with the Department of Workforce Development. I had interviews both with Social Security and with a counselor at DVR. At DVR, we set up a plan. I would get training in a field I wanted to be in, and then we would set up a work plan. If I needed it, I could have gotten an amplifier for my voice. I was also to get voice therapy sessions. My plan was to get a job in medical transcription, since at the time I was mother to an almost 2-year-old and pregnant with my second, and most MT jobs can be worked from home. As these services are free to those in need (I was put on the second tier of disability, which is moderately disabled according to them), you are put on a waiting list. Those with the most severe disabilities get help first. I was told I was on a six month waiting list.
While getting help from DVR, I was turned down for disability. This was no shock, but a little disheartening. I applied again shortly after, this time with more information from a different doctor.
In the fall of 2006, I went to a more specialized clinic for SD. Even though these doctors had more experience than my prior one, I was still only the second case or so that they ever had of someone with the abductor type. I was also one of the youngest. My doctor said that the youngest he ever had with SD was 17 or so, I think, and at that time I was 25.
My new doctor was much more beneficial than my last one. The voice exercises worked better for me. It was determined that I had a mild case of SD, and with minimal voice exercising I was able to get it to almost a normal speaking level. This was, of course, when I pushed myself to stop talking in a softer tone. I don't know what happened, and apparently it was subconscious, but over the time I've had SD I've become softspoken, probably to minimize the voice breaking out. You can hear how soft I am in my videos.
Late summer I also I got off the waiting list with DVR. My wait was more like five months instead of six. I was able to get training for medical transcription through a local college, both at the campus and online. This was the best thing for me since I had the toddler and was pregnant. I had to take a break from school because I had the baby in December. However, I did graduate in March, which was ahead of schedule.
I was once again turned down for disability. Once again, no surprise there.
After I finished school, I started applying places. The problem with medical transcription is that everyone wants experience. I didn't have that yet. So, I was able to get help through a job placement specialist. She got me work experience at a local hospital. After a few months there, my boss suggested I work for a company that does work for that hospital, and I've been there since October of 2007.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Effects of sickness and physical factors
This will be a relatively short post, no video. It was prompted today by my visit with my grandfather, who is 90.
My grandfather has been hard of hearing for longer than I've known him, due to his stepfather "boxing his ears" which was a form of punishment that involved hitting both ears (not sure if it was simultaneous or not, but it was done to both sides). Not really a punch--it involves the palm of the hands instead, and hitting the ear like that can cause hearing issues if done just right or repeatedly. So, because of this punishment from his stepfather, he has needed hearing aids, headphones, or whatever else to help him hear in different situations better.
Sometimes he doesn't wear the hearing aids, like if he uses the phone. It's difficult for him to hear an average person speak, but you combine my voice and his being hard of hearing and it's a bad situation. He didn't have his hearing aids in today when I first came over with my girls, so he had to put them in while I was talking to him. Later, my daughters got rowdy, and the screaming was painful when he had his hearing aids in. It's not a good situation for him to be in, and it's a difficult one for me to adapt to.
My voice is softer than it usually is right now because I have a cold. If I have an illness that affects the throat, my voice will generally be affected. This can involve mucus drainage, a sore throat, or even throwing up, which I suspect is due to the stress on my throat.
I can also be affected by something physically hitting my throat. I've touched upon this before. The time when this is most apparent is when one of my daughters will accidentally headbutt me in the throat while picking her up or if I have a cat decide that my throat is a good sleeping place.
Trauma to the outside of the throat can be just as harmful to trauma to the inside of the throat to me. Screaming makes me lose my voice, as it does for many people.
My grandfather has been hard of hearing for longer than I've known him, due to his stepfather "boxing his ears" which was a form of punishment that involved hitting both ears (not sure if it was simultaneous or not, but it was done to both sides). Not really a punch--it involves the palm of the hands instead, and hitting the ear like that can cause hearing issues if done just right or repeatedly. So, because of this punishment from his stepfather, he has needed hearing aids, headphones, or whatever else to help him hear in different situations better.
Sometimes he doesn't wear the hearing aids, like if he uses the phone. It's difficult for him to hear an average person speak, but you combine my voice and his being hard of hearing and it's a bad situation. He didn't have his hearing aids in today when I first came over with my girls, so he had to put them in while I was talking to him. Later, my daughters got rowdy, and the screaming was painful when he had his hearing aids in. It's not a good situation for him to be in, and it's a difficult one for me to adapt to.
My voice is softer than it usually is right now because I have a cold. If I have an illness that affects the throat, my voice will generally be affected. This can involve mucus drainage, a sore throat, or even throwing up, which I suspect is due to the stress on my throat.
I can also be affected by something physically hitting my throat. I've touched upon this before. The time when this is most apparent is when one of my daughters will accidentally headbutt me in the throat while picking her up or if I have a cat decide that my throat is a good sleeping place.
Trauma to the outside of the throat can be just as harmful to trauma to the inside of the throat to me. Screaming makes me lose my voice, as it does for many people.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I'm back!
I know I've been gone for a while, but July totally sucked. We had to finish moving out of the apartment, and I had three family members in the hospital that month. At least they were in at different times!
I've made a new video. This video showcases how bad my voice can get when reading out loud. I'll update the rest of the blog in time, but I thought I'd make the video today to do something a little different. It's one thing to write about SD, and another to hear how it affects someone.
I've made a new video. This video showcases how bad my voice can get when reading out loud. I'll update the rest of the blog in time, but I thought I'd make the video today to do something a little different. It's one thing to write about SD, and another to hear how it affects someone.
Monday, June 16, 2008
I'm #1!
Ok, just a quick post here. I've moved into my new house, but we had a lot of fun because we got hit with the flooding. I actually had about 3 feet of water in my backyard and about 1 1/2 feet above my storm drain at the end of the driveway. So, not only do I have the normal packing/unpacking routine, but I also had to do some flood prevention stuff, too.
Out of curiosity, I googled "spasmodic dysphonia awareness" today, as I was curious what kind of ribbon represents that. It turns out the video in my last post is the first hit on Google. Who would have thought that?
Out of curiosity, I googled "spasmodic dysphonia awareness" today, as I was curious what kind of ribbon represents that. It turns out the video in my last post is the first hit on Google. Who would have thought that?
Monday, June 2, 2008
It's Dystonia Awareness Week!
And I've made a quick video. It's not very good, and the audio isn't great, but here you go.
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